is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can text with my tongue
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
