Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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