there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
