It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
