She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
whose parrot is this?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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