Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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