It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize