morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
