she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
