we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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