Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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