i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize