How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
