My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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