I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize