Small penises have feelings too.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
