Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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