i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
