I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize