that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
