just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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