Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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