man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
