they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
