I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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