...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
