I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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