Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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