Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
