He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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