And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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