Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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