Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I smell stomach acid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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