PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize