I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
