I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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