just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
