let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize