good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
