why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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