Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
