i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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