her vagine was all disorganized.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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