What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
