Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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