return my video game
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
