hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
