it wasn't lemon gatorade
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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