His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
