I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
