he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
