i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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