Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
