i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
