they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
