Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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