Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
