You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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