i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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