I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
