could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
