I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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