Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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