fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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