I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
