I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
