Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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