This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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