Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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