Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
