That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How does one acquire holy water?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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