i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
