come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
